a little story called life

just as the most unexpected happen & u think it is over, it actually become the expected. hah! dun uds what i am talking bout rite? doesn't matter. i dun quite understand what am i talking bout either. ;)

did something sneaky and almost felt like crying. maybe im touched, or maybe im feeling the fustrations that the affected party/s are feeling... whatever~ shrugs*

in just this year alone, i've witnessed life, death (funerals), unions and sickness, maybe it's cus im older, which is why all these stuff come rushing @ me. i cant help but feel that i am in another phase of my life, a phase whereby there's no retry. u cant throw a tantrum and run to yr mama and give up on this.. its pretty scary...

i told myself late last year that i would never ever wanna regret on the things that i do. but right now? im full of regrets.

regretting that i've promised a dear friend to visit her beloved mother who was very sick. and i used the word was, because, she passed away last week..

i rushed to her house upon hearing the news. but of what use? it's all to late... stayed @ hm's place b4 she came home from the proceedings. we girls, who seldom seldom meet finally get to meet - on a solemn note. on an event i wish i never had to attend. i felt like crying so much that day, but e tears just cant seem to flow.

i regretted giving empty promises, i regretted saying i'll be there, i'll be there, and nv turn up and when i finally did, it was a farewell.

words can't comprehend the guilt that i feel.. and all that i can say is that im sorry my dear, if u're reading this. u've always been there for me. but me? im still the selfish ol' me.

+
nxt, responsibility, or rather the lack of it has proven to really cause tension over everything. e irony is that it is a joyous thing, but nobody's happy - for this issue, im not in a position to comment. so i shall just shut up and move on with life..

but im really really wondering, what will be the outcome of this fustrating event? only time will tell..

have got no mood to pack for my HK trip. feeling drained. tired. emotional.